At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
