I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
