put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
