I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
