Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I will be naked everywhere
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
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