I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
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It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
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Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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