im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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