Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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