i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
