why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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