Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
this boner is exhausting
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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