Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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