i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
