my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
