I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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