well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
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If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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