if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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