PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
