C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
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Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
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I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
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