talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
