Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Life is so much better after having sex.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize