i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
