I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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