do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize