Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize