I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
