There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
