yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
