I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
