Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
