i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
