Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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