Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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