I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
