He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
