Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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