My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
