it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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