I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
