I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize