Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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