Betty ford says i'm here all night
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I could fuck to npr.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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