You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
