My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
