is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
