That's when you crack a 10am beer
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
