would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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