I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
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I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
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I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize