Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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