I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
