I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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In America we eat man semen.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
