I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize