I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
