birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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