Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize