this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Randomize
