Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
