Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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