Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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