In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
this boner is exhausting
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
