We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
