When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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