3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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