dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
