its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
