Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  wtf, did you fuck a retard?!

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  (860): he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape (617): wtf, did you fuck a retard?! http://tfl.nu/q1iv
  Replies (11) Good night (1009) Bad night (4308)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.

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  (219): I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives. http://tfl.nu/v9m4
  Replies (11) Good night (7915) Bad night (1446)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.

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  (989): in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/9a80
  Replies (14) Good night (1262) Bad night (4995)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount

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  (845): I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount http://tfl.nu/tdiu
  Replies (9) Good night (3486) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy

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  (937): She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy http://tfl.nu/3zlc
  Replies (9) Good night (1251) Bad night (3088)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.

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  (518): Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass. http://tfl.nu/ms9b
  Replies (25) Good night (1652) Bad night (1553)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.

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  (602): Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk. http://tfl.nu/8anb
  Replies (11) Good night (3089) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.

  (209): View more from California

  Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.

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  (209): I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now. (209): Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4. http://tfl.nu/hx3p
  Replies (12) Good night (2371) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future

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  (954): i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future http://tfl.nu/c3ju
  Replies (4) Good night (2241) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.

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  (206): I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family. http://tfl.nu/468g
  Replies (1) Good night (1490) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?

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  (614): Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"? http://tfl.nu/ki2a
  Replies (11) Good night (987) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.

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  (870): Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world. http://tfl.nu/aaq7
  Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"

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  (586): Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh" http://tfl.nu/2zz2
  Replies (18) Good night (1816) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man

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  (262): I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space (262): Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man http://tfl.nu/r48t
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore

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  (613): I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore http://tfl.nu/2r6i
  Replies (0) Good night (250) Bad night (263)

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