there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.