Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.

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  (303): dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party. http://tfl.nu/thh9
  Replies (9) Good night (2434) Bad night (842)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.

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  (718): Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie. http://tfl.nu/tjzl
  Replies (3) Good night (2283) Bad night (726)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You smell like stripper and shame

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  (704): You smell like stripper and shame http://tfl.nu/7pqp
  Replies (26) Good night (3198) Bad night (1195)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius

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  (203): You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius http://tfl.nu/w3wu
  Replies (32) Good night (12952) Bad night (987)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.

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  (910): He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever. http://tfl.nu/jw7m
  Replies (26) Good night (6010) Bad night (1466)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.

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  (607): she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet. http://tfl.nu/uotm
  Replies (36) Good night (1706) Bad night (8645)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.

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  (480): Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby. http://tfl.nu/ip7w
  Replies (12) Good night (5563) Bad night (1485)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.

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  (775): At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive. http://tfl.nu/xg7u
  Replies (4) Good night (2675) Bad night (1502)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?

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  (401): Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen? http://tfl.nu/0v6w
  Replies (5) Good night (2590) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.

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  (715): I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve. http://tfl.nu/cch7
  Replies (3) Good night (1161) Bad night (908)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?

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  (816): There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/cxgm
  Replies (2) Good night (845) Bad night (511)
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  (760): View more from California

  I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.

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  (760): I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/o963
  Replies (7) Good night (990) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....

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  (403): Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on.... http://tfl.nu/blut
  Replies (0) Good night (457) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences

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  (610): Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences http://tfl.nu/5w4q
  Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (403)
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  (927): View more from

  Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.

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  (927): Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer. http://tfl.nu/h284
  Replies (1) Good night (789) Bad night (202)

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