This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
