He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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