I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
