I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
